As you may have guessed, this article is about the Islamic doctrine on men marrying up to four wives. Before I get started, let me get some definitions out of the way:
Polygamy: A relationship involving more than two partners
Polyamoury: A relationship involving 3 or more partners where all partners involved have a relationship with one another. E.g.partner A and B are a relationship, A and C are a relationship, B and C are a relationship.
Polygyny: is a polygamous relationship where a man has multiple female partners
Polyandry: is a polygamous relationship where a woman has multiple male partners
Islamically, while two women may have a relationship with one man, they do not have to (and most likely do not) have a relationship with one another. Women may not have more than one husband. Islamically, polygyny is what is currently practiced. For those who are fully appaled by the idea of more than one wife, please be aware that the Qu’ran only came to abrogate the Bible which states no limits of wives, concubines or sex slaves. Look it up!
So Islam technically allows polygyny. Fine. There are some conditions, however. The husband MUST be able to treat each wife fairly and equally and provide for both emotionally and financially. Oh wait, what?! That’s right, the Qu’ran does state that each woman must be treated fairly and equally.
Unfortunately, women have very little recourse to prevent their husband from judging themselves able to take another wife. BUT women have the right to write flat out in their marriage contract that they will NOT accept that their husband take any other wife, not even temporarily (nikha mu’tah). [That’s going in my marriage contract with a clause that if he does get another wife, I get absolutely everything.]
I’m all for consensual relationships, so any idea of a man to marry more than once without the previous wife/wives’ concent is very disturbing to me. The simple repercussions on consensual sexual relationships is enoguh to make me believe consent is mandatory and any marriage without it is NOT by any stretch of the imagination fair.
In Canada and in the United States, all forms of polygamy are illegal. Men and women are only allowed one husband or wife each. End of story. For a Canadian or American Muslim man to claim he can marry more tahn once is bullocks. How can you treat 2 or more wives EQUALLY when you can only marry ONE legally. You can potentially claim that Islamically you are married to all of them but the reality is that in the eyes of the law, only one of them will have legal recognition, inheritance and priviledge over her husband. That’s not equal.
Now, all things considered, you are in a country that allows polygamy, your first wife is okay with the second, etc. WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU WANT TWO WIVES?!?!?!?!
Most men have a hard time satisfying one of us, never mind two, three or four!
Let’s just take the issue of jealousy. Men and women have different responses to jealousy (that’s not my theory, that’s psychological facts); when men are jealous, they they to react edfensively and protectively, bonding themselves closer to their partner in order to repell any potential suitors. That’s the magic of biology for you. Women, on the other hand, have the reverse approach, where they tend to remove themselves emotionally and sometimes even physically from their partners. That might be swell from a guy who’s hoping that his wife will let him be with the new girl in town, but that also means that the guy will no longer have the same emotional loyalty from his wife as previously. Oh wait, what?! Yes, women who are jealous are more likely to go seek another partner. Of course, Shariah in most Islamic countries call for stoning if a wife cheats… so how fair is that to a husband to create a situation where jealousy is not only possible but likely and therefore could put his wives in potentially fatal positions? Not fair!
We have a population surplus in the world, so the need for creating an heritage is next to none, the need for extra wives is inexistant and the situations where it is possible for a man to treat all of his wives fairly and with equality is next to none. For the love of God, women, put a clause in your marriage contract that a man who cheats OR gets any other wife owes you his entire fortune, belongings, etc. You deserve it!