I’ve talked a few posts back about the experience of being female and being subjected to hoot, hollers and howling: it bothers me… a lot! More recently, a friend discussed her desire to stop wearing hijab. Her reason? She has received more unsolicited comments on her appearance from men, in the form of cat calling and overt sexual interest, since wearing it than she has without.
Some people were quick to blame her attitude, stating that she must be giving signs, opening herself up to it; others told her that hijab did in fact bring more attention on her than would not wearing it. I hate these attitudes: this victim-blaming crap that makes women responsible for every bit of sexual attention she gets.
No, her attitude is NOT the problem, neither is her scarf. The problem is that the types of guys who notice her and other hijabis don’t know how to live! In fact, a majority of those who notice hijabis are MUSLIM MEN! That’s what drives me insane!
Let us not forget that modesty was first demanded of men before it was demanded of women and that similar obligations of dress are “required” of men (for those believe hijab is a requirement): men should wear shirts to their elbows, pants below their knees and their heads should be covered. That’s right, your sexist bs that I’m “not wearing hijab properly” because you can see my neck doesn’t stand next to the fact that I can see your elbows!!!
Dear Muslim men,
Stop gawking at us. Stop making comments at how we do or do not wear proper hijab. Your “MashaAllah”s are gross and univited. It is NOT our responsibility to look unsexy it is YOUR responsibility to LOOK AWAY!.
And sisters, please stop denying the systemic patriarchy taught to our men. They are already given the better prayer spaces, the better food, the better rights, the upper hand in both employments and search for a mate, more leeway when acting outside the fold of Islam — please, we don’t need you to make excuses for them on top of it.
There are some wonderful brothers out there, and yes, it’s unfair that they are judged on the same standard as the low-lives who call themselves Muslim brothers but in fact are just olive-skinned skirt chasers. There is NOTHING WRONG in brothers having to prove that they are decent men. Wouldn’t the entire world be a better place if we held everyone to a higher standard?!