Last minute fears…

Peace and blessings,

As you may now know, I am scheduled to take my Shahada (official conversion to Islam) over the weekend. I am excited, I am anxious and, yes, I am scared. I don’t think that anyone in North America in a post 9/11 wouldn’t be. I know far too well how my brothers and sisters in Islam are depicted in the media. Similarly, I also know how extremist some Muslims can be. I feel once again, stuck between two worlds.

Growing up, I was always the “daughter of the gay guy” to my straight peers, and the straight girl to my queer peers. Once again, I have decided to juggle another line: too conservative for my non-Muslim peers and too progressive for my Muslim peers. I guess I’ve made my bed and need to continue to follow my path the way I know is right. No one said following the truth would be easy.

While I am shaking in my pants, I know that I can do what I know is right, thanks to a number of people who have supported me throughout. My mom especially by telling me that it is perfectly okay for me to follow my own spiritual path and my boyfriend by answering all of my questions (and God knows there were many and still more to come) without ever pushing towards a specific interpretation, allowing me to make decisions on my own. I have so many friends that I can’t even name them all, but in short, anyone of you, regardless of your own spirituality that have encouraged me to explore my own: Thank you. Fears aside, I am grateful to be able to make this choice for myself and I am glad that you are there beside me supporting me. God willing, I can be there for you in similar ways whenever you need me.

XOXOXOXOXO

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